Betrayal
by stagandthedoe
Summary: What did Sirius Black think before he attacked Peter? What thoughts were hunting him, what thoughts brought him to almost killing his best friend? - drabble on what happened to Sirius and Remus after their best friends were brutally killed. Kind of Wolfstar.


Anger was the only thing still motivating Sirius to move on. To move on from what he had just seen. The image was haunting him, showing up in his mind every time he thought he had forgotten it. But of course he hadn't. How could he ever forget.

To see his best friend, the person who was like his brother, lying there with no life left was the worst thing he ever saw. And he lost a lot of people in his life. James had always been there for him, and so had Sirius. They had been brothers ever since they were eleven. Ten years of brotherhood, gone because of betrayal.

And Lily, oh Lily. The red haired girl who he grew to love as a friend. The start of their friendship had been rough, but years and years had passed and she had found a place in Sirius' heart. And then there was Harry, gone to his aunt, not to his godfather. It was not fair. Harry deserved to grow up with someone who loved him, and not with Lily's sister. Because he heard the stories, and they weren't nice.

Tears were streaking his face, but Sirius did not stop running. He had to find him. He needed to avenge what happened. It frightened him: this anger. He had never felt it before, not even when his mother yelled at him that it was for the best that he left and that she was happy he was finally gone. It was worse, so much worse this time.

Sirius was a person that easily got angry. This could be useful at some moments, because when he got angry, he got more powerful. This way, he was from great use to the order, because he defeated a lot of death eaters this way. But his anger was a big problem most of the time. He lost people because of it, made awful things happen and was responsible for a couple of innocent victims. But this time, his victim wouldn't be innocent. His victim would be so, so guilty. Guilty of one of the worst crimes: betrayal.

Peter Pettigrew, the rat who had claimed to be his best friend for ten years, was the reason his best friends were dead. The reason that his godson was now an orphan. Sirius felt such hate towards this one person, that when he imagined his face, he just screamed loudly. And now it was time to get back at him. To make sure that his friends' deaths would be avenged. Because that was Sirius job. To be loyal. And this was the only way he could be, now that they were gone.

Revenge was all he cared about. It had always been one of the things that made Sirius feel good, to see that he hurt someone back. It gave a satisfying feeling, that could not be described. But this time, he wasn't looking for satisfaction. He needed a way to get this out of his system, to make sure that Peter Pettigrew wouldn't get away with this.

It took him hours to find him. But when he saw the chubby man, he called his name, his voice drained with anger and hate. Peter had turned around and fear had spread over his face. Sirius ran up to him, pushing him up against a wall. He didn't care that they were in muggle London, and that people looked at them like they were complete maniacs. The only thing he cared about was destroying that face, making sure that the light in those eyes would never burn again.

"Sirius, I didn't mean to – it – I," Peter began, stammering.

"Shut your filthy mouth, Peter." Sirius muttered, madness in his eyes. "How? How could you do –"

But Peter shut him up. You wouldn't expect such a small person to be able to create such loud sounds, but it was possible. "How could you?" Peter screamed maniacally. "How could you betray James and Lily? You're the reason they're death, Sirius!"

And everyone heard it. People, muggles, turned their heads. And then it happened so quickly: people in wizard cloaks ran up to the couple, Peter pulled his wand out of his bag and Sirius' eyes grew wide.

The explosion was huge. The street was completely destroyed, you could see the sewer pipes. And there were body parts everywhere. Sirius just stood there, with his fist still clenched around a jacket that wasn't there anymore. Peter had vanished. Transfigured into a rat and ran away. And Sirius just stood there, waiting for the aurors to come, because he knew what this looked like.

Peter wasn't as dumb as they always assumed him to be. He was smart, smart and sly. And now he did not only betray his two best friends, but also Sirius. Sirius screamed when the men in auror uniforms grabbed his arms and pulled him away from the spot where he had been standing as frozen. He didn't struggle, he just screamed maniacally. Because he remembered those words Peter had said before he blew the street up. _You're the reason they're dead, Sirius!_ The words kept replaying in his head, making him feel more guilty with every second.

Sirius felt numb. He didn't hear a thing, he didn't hear what the people yelled at him. "Traitor!" "Murderer!" "Scum!". It sounded all the same to him. _You are the reason they're dead_. Because maybe he was. He was the one who told James to choose Peter, because they wouldn't see that coming. And even though James wasn't sure, Sirius pushed him to. It was his fault.

In the crowd, a man covered up in scars looked at the screaming man. He noticed the red, puffy eyes, which indicated that he had been crying. "Sirius!" He called, but he didn't hear him. Remus Lupin watched how the aurors disapparated, with his former best friend tied up between them, and how the street slowly emptied. But he just stood there, frozen on the spot.

Slowly, he let his body drop the floor. He pulled his legs up and put his head against his knees. Loud sobs escaped his mouth, tears making his knees wet. In less than twenty four hours, he had lost everything he had dear. His best friends, murdered because Sirius betrayed them. And Sirius had killed Peter. Sirius, his best friend. One of the persons who helped him with his greatest secret, one of the people who accepted him no matter what.

And now, Sirius was gone. To Azkaban, for Merlin's sake. Because he did the worst thing you can do. Betray your best friends. Kill one of them. He couldn't believe it, but the truth was slapping him in the face with all the evidence. His best friend was a death eater. Sirius Black had become the thing he hated the most, and Remus did not know why. The only thing he knew, was that he was incredibly angry. Angry at Sirius, angry at You-Know-Who and especially angry at himself. Because he didn't realise that Sirius had been on the other side all this time.

Everyone was celebrating because the war was over, but Remus didn't see what there was to celebrate. He was all alone now, the only people he had left were Frank and Alice, but they were way too busy to spend any time on him. Well, he didn't want them spending any time on him. Pulling himself up, he forced himself to go home.

His bed didn't seem as tempting as it seemed normally. Remus knew this was going to be a night with no sleep, unless he took his sleeping potion. But even after he took that, he was lying in his bed, thinking about Sirius. Sirius, the person he had loved, so, so much.

And Sirius was sitting in his cell in Azkaban, freezing to death. His prisoner robes didn't quite fit him, and that made it easy for the cold wind to cut through the fabric. His whole body was shaking, but that wasn't necessarily because of the cold. The thought of Peter, running around freely angered him. The thought of Harry being somewhere with strangers who would probably hate him, angered him. The image of James' and Lily's death bodies angered him.

But when he thought of Remus, he felt this enormous heart ache. Remus, all alone. His friends either dead, or in Azkaban. Probably trying to find out why Sirius had done what everyone thought he had done, and not coming to a conclusion. Remus, now all left alone on full moons, with no one there to keep him company when he broke down.

Sirius felt the guilt in his whole body. His head ached and his stomach was turning ten thousand circles. A tear escaped his eye again, as he laid awake, trying to sleep. He couldn't help but think of his Remus, the only person he ever learned to love in a way that meant more than friendship and what he had done to him.


End file.
